I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
