you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
