I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
