some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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