My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize