I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
