She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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