Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
