This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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