remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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