Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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