Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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