Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
