I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
