just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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