i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
