Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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