was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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