There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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