No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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