we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we made out on top of his cat.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
