I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Rumble strips road head = magical
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize