He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
