Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
