And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
