it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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