youre lurking in front of me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
