How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
