OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize