A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
