she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
