I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
