My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
