I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
