I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize