Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
