I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
