Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I love you.
Bad choice
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