You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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