im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well you can't waste a boner
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
