i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
