Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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