Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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