plz talk dirty to me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize