Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
