I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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