You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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