To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
