i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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