Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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