was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
