To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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