So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
