when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
