We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
